Why, oh WHY do I do this? I wonder what to put in my lunch. I wonder what to wear that will be suitably "teacherly/professorial" but not too stuffy or- gasp- middle aged looking. I already know I won't sleep well tonight. I've been having teacher nightmares for weeks-- the ones where I'm teaching in a combination of several of my old schools, only I don't know the curriculum, or I have no books, or I can't figure out the class schedule, or any other combination of weirdness related to teaching anxiety.
Copies are run off, syllabi are ready to go, I bought a bouquet of flowers for my office. What's my problem with the nerves? Yes, this is the first time I've taught freshman writing in a decade, but I can teach that class in my sleep.
Will my students think my assignments are confusing? Will they panic about the reading load? Will they whip out their smart phones and drop my class immediately? (And would that be such a bad thing?) I guess the nerves are due to not knowing my audience. I don't know what students will be like here (about to find out). Will I be seen as a crazy liberal hippie who had a brief jaunt in hillbilly country?
My first day of student teaching, I remember getting up early and looking at myself in the full-length mirror after I was all ready for the day. I said softly, "I wonder what my new students will think when they see me." My roommate, who'd just woken up and overheard me, answered, "Short."
What will my students think tomorrow morning?
I've got to share a contrast with you -- Eric starts his class today. He's soo annoyed because a class that was supposed to have an enrollment of 50-ish students got bumped up to 90+ without his permission (and without so far without the promised TA). So he's trying to figure out how to scare the heck out of 20+ students today ... and he's annoyed enough that he hasn't gotten himself as ready as he should have. Crack me up!
ReplyDeleteJust a quick update: students here are very polite. I have one freshman level class that's almost half seniors who postponed taking the course, so we'll see how they do on keeping up on things, but students are nice overall. Jitters now gone!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I'm sure your students will think you are wonderful but I don't blame you for being nervous!
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