Why, oh WHY do I do this? I wonder what to put in my lunch. I wonder what to wear that will be suitably "teacherly/professorial" but not too stuffy or- gasp- middle aged looking. I already know I won't sleep well tonight. I've been having teacher nightmares for weeks-- the ones where I'm teaching in a combination of several of my old schools, only I don't know the curriculum, or I have no books, or I can't figure out the class schedule, or any other combination of weirdness related to teaching anxiety.
Copies are run off, syllabi are ready to go, I bought a bouquet of flowers for my office. What's my problem with the nerves? Yes, this is the first time I've taught freshman writing in a decade, but I can teach that class in my sleep.
Will my students think my assignments are confusing? Will they panic about the reading load? Will they whip out their smart phones and drop my class immediately? (And would that be such a bad thing?) I guess the nerves are due to not knowing my audience. I don't know what students will be like here (about to find out). Will I be seen as a crazy liberal hippie who had a brief jaunt in hillbilly country?
My first day of student teaching, I remember getting up early and looking at myself in the full-length mirror after I was all ready for the day. I said softly, "I wonder what my new students will think when they see me." My roommate, who'd just woken up and overheard me, answered, "Short."
What will my students think tomorrow morning?
